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NY Times Published: April 27, 2006 LEIFERT--Robert. Husband of Jaclyn, father of Aryeh and Dina. Grandfather of Yonah, brother of Harvey. Service was held Wednesday, Congregation Kehilath Jeshurun, 125 East 85th St, NY. http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9503E7D8123AF934A15757C0A9609C8B63 Eulogy KJ EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR ROBERT J. LEIFERT זצ " ל Congregation Kehilath Jeshurun regrets to inform you of the passing of its Executive Director of the past 26 years, Robert J. Leifert, who was felled by a stroke on Sunday. Only 60 years old, Bob was the husband of KJ Member Jaclyn Leifert, and the father of Rabbi Aryeh Leifert and Dina Leifert. Bob was literally born into KJ, raised by birth in our congregation by his late parents, Lillian and Benjamin Leifert, and doted upon by his maternal grandparents, who themselves first joined KJ in 1914! Honored at our 132nd Annual Synagogue Meeting for a quarter- century of service to the KJ community (during which time the membership grew more than 85%, from 565 to 1,055 member households), congregants and colleagues alike will miss, among other attributes, Bob's creativity, good humor, compassion and total commitment to KJ. Shiva, through Tuesday morning, May 2nd, will be held at the Leifert residence, 564 Rutland Avenue, Teaneck, NJ 07666. The phone number there is 201- 836- 8238. The following eulogy was delivered by Rabbi Haskel Lookstein at the funeral services that took place on Wednesday, April 26, 2006 in the Main Synagogue of Congregation Kehilath Jeshurun. EULOGY FOR ROBERT J. LEIFERT On one of the most glorious days in biblical Jewish history, when the dedication of the Tabernacle was complete and joy ran supreme, the atmosphere of happiness was pierced by a dreadful tragedy, the sudden death of two sons of Aaron the High Priest. The reaction of Aaron was instructive: Vayidom Aharon, and Aaron was silent. It was that same reaction which greeted the news of the passing of Robert J. Leifert. When I announced it in shul there was silence. When I spoke about its imminence at the Yom Hashoah Commemoration on Monday night there was silence. It was a silence, I believe, which represented at least three qualities of Bob’s life which stand out among the many for which he was known and beloved. Vayidom Aharon, Aaron was silent because he accepted God’s judgement in the world. In all the years of Bob’s illness - and he was suffering from illness for the last 41 years - I never heard him ask “Why me?” He always accepted adversity with stoicism and humor. He was determined to live his life to the full while battling a dreadful illness. He never complained. He always had a cheerful countenance, and he was optimistic. Moreover, he was able to laugh about himself. Last year at the Salute to Israel Parade, Aryeh pushed Bob in a wheelchair along the line of march of the Halachic Organ Donor Society, in which he fervently believed, because it was through his brother Harvey’s donation of a kidney 19 years ago that Bob had an additional 19 years of quality life. But, of course, he made light of his association with the Halachic Organ Donor Society when he said “Who could possibly want my organs?” It is typical of Bob and his family that after he was declared brain dead he was maintained on a breathing machine so that surgeons could remove his liver and save somebody else’s life. Silence because of acceptance, determination and dignified courage. Vayidom Aharon, silence also because most people’s talk is about themselves. What could Aaron have said in the face of his sons’ deaths? He could simply have bemoaned his fate. Bob, who was certainly loquacious, was rather reticent about himself. His focus was on everyone else. He was actually one of the most selfless, giving human beings I have ever known. I had a conversation with him on December 25 in the hospital, following his open heart surgery. He told me that he had wanted to speak to me before the surgery because he had a feeling he was going to die and there were certain things that he wanted to tell me. Listen to what he told me that morning: He said that he married Jackie because he thought she would be a wonderful person with whom to bring up children. He found out that this was completely true. She is a marvelous mother. However, in addition, she is also an incredible wife. Her care for her children and her care for me (Bob) are just unbelievable. He wanted her to know this. He also wanted Aryeh and Dina to know that he is extraordinarily proud of the kind of people they are. Aryeh treats the porter staff in shul with the same respect as he treats the office staff. He always says thank you and he is always respectful to them. Dina is the same way with regard to everybody. She befriends the women who are the checking ladies or the elevator ladies in shul. She is always respectful to them. Recently, Aryeh said to Bob that he was very impressed with Michal’s father because of his learning and he felt that he had a great deal to gain from him in that regard. However, there is another “L” word that he has learned from his father - love. In the end, he said, love is even more important than learning and he has learned from his father both by instruction and by example. Bob wanted his children to know that he appreciates the menschlich qualities that they have and the sense of caring and concern that they evince for everybody. Bob knew that these menschlich qualities did not come from the air. He knew they were caught from him and from Jackie, and he was proud of that. He was proud of the fact that he genuinely cared for everybody - for the elderly, for the sick, for the needy. He used to always call people to my attention and suggest that they might appreciate a call or a visit from me. His thoughts were always about other people. He treated volunteers in the congregation’s programs with utmost respect and regard. He made them feel needed and appreciated. That was his hallmark. He valued people - all people. He was blessed in that his family cared for him as he cared for them and for others. Harvey, who donated a kidney. Jackie, who was his lifeline in addition to being his life’s companion. She made sure he kept going, kept smiling, kept on hoping. Aryeh, who was his pride and joy. Dina, who was the apple of his eye. Michal, whom he loved as a new member of the family. And Yonah, whom he absolutely adored. He was in a deep coma on Monday, registering virtually nothing. But when Michal and Yonah arrived from Florida and Aryeh told Yonah to give Papa a hug and a kiss, which he lovingly did, it was at that moment that all his bodily functions became terribly erratic. It was as if he was waiting for his grandson to come and hug him before he would leave this world. Silence because it was never about him; it was always about others. Finally, vayidom Aharon, Aaron was silent because he had a powerful commitment to his priestly service. Bob, too, had such a commitment. Never having been given an opportunity to go to Ramaz, he nevertheless got the best Jewish education he possibly could and became committed to the service of the Jewish people. He was everything a rabbi ought to be, just without semicha. He was extraordinarily committed to KJ, into which he was born and to which he returned in 1979 with so much excitement and enthusiasm. He lived and breathed KJ. He always thought about it. He was always planning creative ideas and programs - Yom Hashoah, Tisha b’Av, Bikur Cholim, Chevra Kadisha, Lunch and Learn, special guest speakers, new kinds of activities. KJ was absolutely his life, right up to the Yom Hashoah Commemoration on Monday night which he was looking forward to attending in his wheelchair. I would like to read to you a tribute I delivered two years ago on April 28, 2004 on Bob’s 25th anniversary as Executive Director of KJ. “132ND ANNUAL MEETING OF CONGREGATION KEHILATH JESHURUN Wednesday, April 28, 2004 SPECIAL PRESENTATION TO ROBERT J. LEIFERT, EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR AT THE AGE OF TWO BOB LEIFERT WAS SITTING ON THE LAP OF HIS MATERNAL GRANDFATHER, DR. ZIGMUND WECHSLER IN OUR MAIN SYNAGOGUE. DR. WECHSLER TURNED TO HIS SON- IN- LAW AND SAID: "SOME DAY, BOB IS GOING TO BE PRESIDENT OF KJ." WELL, YOUR GRANDFATHER GOT IT WRONG BUT HE WASN'T FAR FROM THE TRUTH. NINETY YEARS AGO IN 1914, HE AND YOUR GRANDMOTHER, NANCY WECHSLER, JOINED THIS CONGREGATION. YOUR LATE AND REMARKABLE PARENTS, LILLIAN AND BEN LEIFERT, WERE LEADING MEMBERS OF THE COMMUNITY. YOU WERE BORN INTO THIS COMMUNITY ALMOST SIX DECADES AGO, AND WHEN YOU MARRIED JACKIE KIRSCHENBAUM, WHOSE PARENTS, CANTOR BENZION AND SYLVIA ARE HERE, THANK GOD, YOU IMMEDIATELY JOINED KJ EVEN THOUGH YOU LIVED IN RIVERDALE.TWENTY- FIVE YEARS AGO WE NEEDED AN EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR SO WE PIRATED ONE FROM THE PROFESSIONAL LEADERSHIP OF UNITED SYNAGOGUE YOUTH. AND WE HAVE BEEN BLESSED EVER SINCE WITH THE KIND OF COMMITMENT THAT COMES FROM SOMEBODY WHO WAS BORN TO SERVE IN THIS CONGREGATION AND WHO FROM EARLIEST CHILDHOOD HAD THE IDEALISM AND THE DRIVE TO DEVOTE HIMSELF TO A LIFE OF JEWISH COMMUNAL SERVICE. SO MANY CREATIVE IDEAS OVER THE LAST TWENTY- FIVE YEARS CAME FROM YOUR INITIATIVE. RAMAZ SHABBATONIM AT KJ, CHESED COMMITTEES, CHEVRA KADDISHA, VOLUNTEER OF THE YEAR AWARDS, DOZENS OF GUEST SPEAKERS, RIGHT UP TO YOUR SUGGESTION THAT WE INVITE THE NEW PRESIDENT OF YESHIVA UNIVERSITY TO ADDRESS OUR ANNUAL MEETING. BUT FAR MORE THAN THAT, YOU HAVE LIVED AND BREATHED KJ FOR THE LAST TWENTY- FIVE YEARS. AND WE ARE SO MUCH THE BETTER BECAUSE OF IT. JEWISH TRADITION SAYS THAT GOD PROVIDES THE REWARDS FOR THOSE WHO SERVE THE COMMUNITY. HE CERTAINLY DID IN YOUR CASE IN THE FORM OF JACKIE, WHO IS A MAGNIFICENT JEWISH EDUCATOR BUT ALSO SURELY THE MOST WONDERFUL WIFE YOU COULD ASK FOR; ARYEH WHO IS NOW STUDYING FOR THE RABBINATE AND WHO ALONG WITH HIS WIFE, MICHAL, IS EXPECTING A MEMBER OF THE FIFTH GENERATION IN THE KJ FAMILY; AND DINA, A BA'ALAT CHESED, WHO SOME DAY IS GOING TO RENDER VERY IMPORTANT SERVICE TO THE JEWISH COMMUNITY. BOB: YOU HAVE COME THROUGH A PERIOD OF VERY DIFFICULT ILLNESS. YOU STILL FACE A LONG RECOVERY. BUT WE EXPECT YOU TO BE IN THE KJ SADDLE FOR A LONG TIME TO COME. AS A MARK OF THIS ANNIVERSARY OF YOUR SERVICE AS EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR, WE PRESENT YOU WITH THIS FRAMED CERTIFICATE DONE IN GOLD LEAF BY MORRIS WYSHOGROD, AND WE ALSO GIVE YOU SOMETHING THAT WE KNOW YOU NEED, A BEAUTIFUL MENORAH. MAY IT LIGHT YOUR LIFE AND THE LIFE OF YOUR FAMILY FOR GENERATIONS TO COME. BOB: WE THANK YOU, WE LOVE YOU, AND WE BLESS YOU.” Bob, I want you to know that everybody respected you and everybody loved you, from the maintenance staff to the office staff to the whole KJ and Ramaz family. I spoke about the theme of silence. I can just imagine that if you could talk now you would add one more self- deprecating idea: You were silent because you couldn’t sing. You simply could not carry a tune. Ah, but you made music with your life, with your courage, with your determination, with your stoic acceptance of suffering and, most of all, with your love of family, your caring for all, and your commitment to KJ and to the Jewish people. It is we who are silent now because we already miss you. But the melody of your life and all that it represents will remain vividly in our ears and on our minds for many years to come. Rest in peace, my friend. Rest in peace Reuven Yaakov ben Dov Baer v’Sarah Liba, an Israelite who was a high priest in our community. Amen. http://www.ckj.org/docs/RHLLeifertEulogy1.pdf